


Love Coming To Light

by diaryofashydreamer



Category: Hamilton - Fandom, Reader - Fandom, Thomas Jefferson - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Insecurity, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 12:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8328748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diaryofashydreamer/pseuds/diaryofashydreamer
Summary: you learn a lot about eachother on a trip to Paris. Insecure Thomas.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1!

“(Y/N) Are you ready! Our car is here!” Thomas called from the entrance downstairs, you could hear the anxiety in his voice, he hated to be late.  
“Coming right down Thomas!” You said running around to grab the last of your things, your purse, your phone, and the ipod with Thomas and your music on it for those late Paris nights. 

You descended the staircase and Thomas couldn’t help but stare, you looked stunning in a tight fitting black dress with a magenta jacket hanging around your arm for the chilly morning, of course Magenta to match Thomas’ favorite suit. Thomas owned one particular magenta suit he was quite fond of, but that wasnt the only colorful one he owned.  
“(Y/N) you look...stunning” Thomas said breathless taking your hand and kissing the top of it, quite the gentleman he was.

“Shall we catch our flight today my dear?” You said quick to run into the car towards the airport as Thomas closely followed behind, this was going to be a fun trip. 

\-----

A week or two after arriving in france Thomas had welcomed you to the lavish lifestyle he liked to lead in the country, a hotel room with the absolute best view, the dinner parties, and all the places he said he’s been dying to take you out on dates to. You couldn’t help but notice how relaxed your boyfriend was, and how happy he was, France was definitely where he needed to be right now, not at home fighting with Alexander Hamilton or George Washington or even Aaron Burr about the recent plans for the country. Thomas, you, and Alexander were friends albeit Thomas a tad less- they squabbled a lot during cabinet meetings, but none the less most of the time they were able to walk out of cabinet meetings as gentleman and friends. 

It was one night after a dinner party that you realized just how comfortable Thomas had gotten. He had requested that you two leave the party a few minutes early that night because he was very tired from all the business meetings he had the previous day and wanted to catch up on sleep, or so he claimed, but you thought otherwise. 

You both walked into the beautiful hotel suite, Thomas hadn’t much to say in the elevator on the way up, or the cab ride for that matter. You went into the bathroom to wash up and change your clothes quickly, and when you came out you finally understood.

Thomas lay on the bed curled up with a pillow pressed to his chest, half asleep with his trousers unbuttoned and shirt untucked, his protruding tummy making the fabric of the white button down taught around his tummy. 

“Thomas darling, are you feeling alright?” You said as you laid down on the bed beside your partner, whom was in a half sleepy state.  
“Mhm perfect my love, why do you ask” He said, letting go of the pillow he was holding with both hands to allow you to scooch in closer to him.  
You laid a hand on his stomach in response to his answer, and you immediately earned a sigh back from him.  
“Because it seems to me you may have a tummy ache” you said, curling into your boyfriend taking it upon yourself to give Mr. Jefferson a tummy rub as he rolled over on his back.  
“Mmmm yes, I do believe I might have over done it tonight, the food was just so good mon cheri.” He was also maybe a little tipsy from the champagne, but not enough to let the alcohol take over, just enough for him to start using his rusty french.  
As you rubbed his tummy in slow circles Thomas began to sigh in relief and comfort, your warmth and gentleness clearly making him feel better.  
You stopped for just a moment to unbutton the rest of his white button down, and slipped his suit jacket and shirt onto a hanger in the closet.  
Before you even laid in the bed Thomas already had thrown his trousers on the floor, clearly they also made him feel uncomfortable.

Now your beautiful and relaxed boyfriend lay on his back under a blanket in his matching magenta boxers, of course.  
You slipped under the covers to join him in the warmth of their bed, and at that same time your hand was back on Thomas’ stomach immediately, drawing soft circles in the taut flesh.  
He let out another sigh of relief and rolled slowly onto his side to face you, kissing the crook of your neck and the top of your collar bones.

“Mon cheri, I love you.” Thomas said softly in between kisses as your continued tracing circles on his skin.

Thomas fell fast asleep, whilst you lay awake thinking about your lover.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas confession time, FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF.

\-------////Part2////-------  
A few days later

There were things you never knew about Thomas before this trip, and things he never knew about you that came into light. You knew Thomas was the sweetest person you've ever met, he had a passionate heart, he fought hard for what he believed in, he was always by your side with support, love, and care right when you needed him, and now it was time for you to be there for him. 

These past few months that you two had been dating, they were fantasies coming to life- yes there were lavish parties, beautiful gowns, amazing views, but also an amazing man by your side, with amazing friends to help celebrate your love as you celebrated theirs.

The one thing you learned about Thomas, his confidence in private barely matched his confidence in public. Thomas commanded crowds with the flick of a wrist, his smiled melted every heart in the room whenever he showed his pearly white teeth, his aura was kind and comforting, but also confident and commanding.   
In private, Thomas was small, he understood that a relationship is cooperative, therefore he found comfort in letting you take control just as much as he did in the relationship.  
Thomas also had insecurities- which is impossible to guess when you watch him in public. He had deep insecurities, and sometimes you did worry about him. He kept himself on a vigorous schedule in order to stay in the best possible shape he could being in the public eye as often as he was, he went running every morning and lifted weights as often as he could at night. Thomas was a knit picker, especially about his appearance- this was something that really became eminent on this trip. 

His suits always needed to be tailored to the perfect fit, in fact he only trusted a few tailors to do the job correctly. He passed a mirror and always checked his appearance, unless he was at a party or in a meeting, then he was focused on the job at hand and couldn't become preoccupied with his appearance.  
He was vain, but in the insecure type of way. 

It wasn’t until one night whilst you and Thomas were still in Paris that you realized how truly obsessed he was with his physical appearance and how he demanded his body to reflect his inner determination.  
\------------------------------  
“Thomas? Thomas are you in here? How rude of you to leave the party without telling me where you were going!” You called out before you had even stepped 5 feet into your hotel room, the party being just on the third floor of the same hotel. Thomas has seemed to vanish from the party after merely two hours by your side chatting up guests and drinking with your hands intertwined. The next thing you knew, Thomas unlocked your palms to go to the bathroom, and he never returned.   
“Thomas! Hello?” You walked into the kitchen of your hotel room, throwing your jacket on the couch and walking toward the bedroom, you noticed the bathroom light was left on, but the door was closed.  
“Thomas?” You said calmly, hoping he was okay. Maybe he again wasn’t feeling well, a small thought of worry crossed your mind.   
You walked into the bathroom to see Thomas standing on the scale by the bathtub in only his magenta boxers, and he seemed upset.   
That was until he realized what he was doing, shaking himself out of a fog and stepping of the scale in a hurry. He was upset, you saw it now in his movements, he shifted carefully to turn you and gave you a small smile, trying to mask what his eyes were telling you.   
“Sweetheart....” You said taking hold of Thomas’ forearms, he stood now with a stern face, realizing that you had witnessed his little moment of insecurity.   
“(Y/N) stop…” He put his head down and tried weakly to shake your grip, clearly undecided about his next move.  
“Will you talk to me Thomas? I knew something was bothering you for the past couple of weeks, you know you can always talk to me, just like you are always by my side when I need you, I am by yours.” You said hugging your boyfriend, feeling his bare skin scrap yours, he was warm and tense, this topic a still open wound.  
“Look (y/n), it’s a very long…story I don’t want to get into right now. I apologize for my behavior the past week or two, I never meant to worry you. I love you so very much” He gave his quick excuse as he grabbed the bathrobe to cover his exposed flesh, he fidgeted with insecurity.   
“Thomas, please.” You pleased, taking his hand and leading him out of the bathroom to the bed, seating him next to you at the edge of the bed. 

He paused for a moment to take a long look at the carpet, debating on whether to expose his emotions or not. Thomas was not private with you except for about very few things, this being one of them.   
You kissed his cheek, and stood up with your back turned to him as you lifted your hair for him to unzip your gown. You began to slowly undress as to make the silence useful, and giving Thomas time to think what to say next. 

You slipped your dress off and hung it on a hanger, whilst you slipped off all of your undergarments and threw on an old shirt of Thomas’ and some shorts for sleeping. 

“You realize how hard it is to admit to my own insecurity.” Thomas finally said, shifting his weight on the bed, uncomfortable with the topic being discussed.   
“I do realize sweetheart, I do.” You turned to him and kissed him again the cheek, then taking the moment to lay one on his lips, taking his breath away.  
“But I love you so much more than a voice trying to betray you in your head does.” You said before setting yourself down on his lap, intertwining your legs around his waist and leaning in for another kiss, this time letting the moment last. 

He pulled away to take a deep breath, looking into your eyes he allowed you to see everything he was feeling, in the deep pool of brown you saw he was upset with himself, for letting himself lose control over his physical state, something that should not be as important as it was to him. 

“I’ve really um...become comfortable in Paris, and been spoiled so much with your love, I’ve become unaware with the fact that I’ve put on some weight.” He let out a sigh, secrets out now.   
“And why does this bother you so much Thomas?” He loved hearing you say his name, it made his heart flutter every time. You kissed him again on the lips, this time moving your hands from being wrapped around his neck, to resting on his waist, making Thomas flinch.  
“It doesn’t, your love has changed my life.” He said, trying to end the discussion with a compliment.  
“Thomas.” You said sternly, looking deep into his eyes seeing the full truth.

He lowered his eyes, trying to find the right words to say. The truth frightened him, letting his secrets go frightened him. But he was not frightened of you, knowing you would love him regardless of his emotions towards himself. 

“I am bothered due to my lack of restraint, my lack of control, my lack of determination, and my lack of limitation. I am bothered due to the fact that I have become comfortable in Paris, that I have over indulged to the point that I’ve given up my normal routine to stay fit for life in the public eye. I am bothered that you are not bothered with this, I am bothered that you continue to love me whilst I lose control over my physical appearance.” His eyes looked as though they were beginning to tear up, and it made you upset to see Thomas so consumed by something so unimportant as his weight. He rested his head on your shoulder and took a few deep breaths to help calm himself down, you had never seen him so upset. 

“Thomas my dear, it is only a number. I’m glad to see you comfortable, it makes me a happy girlfriend to see my boyfriend so carefree, to be able to be so open to me about such an issue, to be able to be comfortable enough around me to not notice such a thing for so long...I love that you are comfortable. You deserve to be comfortable, to have fun, to let loose. You deserve to not be obsessed with something so little as your weight, you are far more intelligent, more worthy than to be consumed by something so small.” You kissed his neck, then his shoulder.   
Thomas was and has always been an attractive man, and will always be, after all a little extra weight never killed anyone, and it certainly didn’t make Thomas any less attractive, although you did worry how long this has been an obsession for him. 

He looked longingly into your eyes, searching to make sure your answer was genuine. He smiled with satisfaction as he began to realize you were being truthful, and to see you cared enough to comfort him instead of telling him to man up. He was grateful that your heart was big enough to realize that this issue was important to him, and that it did need attention. 

“How did I ever find someone so sweet?” He smiled, pecking you on the lips as a small thank you for your kind words.   
“Uh uh uh! No changing the subject!” You whispered swiftly, returning the gesture but for a few seconds longer, letting your tongue dance in his mouth, reminding him you were still attracted to him regardless of his weight.   
He let out a slight moan of approval, and you pulled away from him smiling. Good, he got the hint.   
“You know a little bit of extra weight isn’t a sin, and it doesn’t make you less attractive.” You said your previous thoughts out loud for him to hear, hoping to give him a little extra confidence to continue the conversation.   
“(y/n)...” He said your name, and lowered his eyes again, unsure if he should give away such a secret. You kissed him again on the cheek, a way to say it’s okay to confess.  
“15 pounds is not a little bit of extra weight, it’s a big deal...if this continues, and we go back to America, can you even imagine? I will be a laughing stalk. Alexander will crucify me in public, can you imagine his taunts? I don’t think I would be able to stay civil.” He said with a tinge of anger whilst mentioning Alex’s name. You frowned in disapproval, he should not be so worried about his peers perception of him.  
“Sweetheart, politics and your ideas are the important thing here, not your appearance.” You said softly, to earn a disapproving sigh. He once again laid his head on your shoulder, nuzzling into your neck as a way to say he’s had enough with this conversation.

“Sweetheart, listen to me very carefully. I love you, and if you want to lose this weight, I support you and I will be by your side. If you want to continue being comfortable, I support that as well. No one said comfortable had to include gaining more weight, just know I love you all the same. Your happiness is what is important to me, along with your healthy, especially your mental health. You obsessing over this, is unhealthy and it worries me that you’ve kept this to yourself for so long…” You sighed, upset with him for keeping such a secret.

He lifted his head in response, locking his eyes with yours.   
“I was afraid that you wouldn’t love me the same if I told you.” he confessed, and with that your eyes began to tear up.   
“Oh Thomas…I could never not love you, especially for something so...so…”   
“Stupid?” he tried to finish your sentence, with a small frown on his face, he felt like this issue was so pathetic to have.  
“No, this isn’t stupid. Your emotions are important and they are valid Thomas. I love you so much, and yet with this being brought to light, I want you to remember you are still the man of my wildest dreams. You are sweet, caring, and honest, and so damn hot.” You smirked, giving him reassurance. 

“God, did I mention I loved you?” He said, kissing you deeply. You both became lost in each others mouths for a few moments before you pulled away for a breath.   
You pushed Thomas down so he was lying on the bed, and you put both your hands on top of his stomach, making Thomas flinch once again.  
“Yes, I believe you did” You said with a smirk, this could be fun.


End file.
